Sunday, December 29, 2013

Melly


The first time I met her was at a social welfare office. She looked healthy and bubbly and confident and rather pretty in her tight jeans and long boots and short jacket. She had a mass of long, curly orange hair and was accompanied by a young middle eastern looking man. I remember wondering if he was her man-bag, and then I thought, that’s none of my business. I was surprised that she was a pensioner. That meant she was unable to work and was relying on welfare payment from the government. When the interview was finished she said goodbye and kissed me on the top of my head. I thought that was a bit strange but perhaps that was just her personality.

The next time I met her was on my way home from work, many months later. The hair was still orange but no longer long and luxurious. She was limping because of a bone overgrowth in one of her feet. She looked very happy to see me and she said God probably arranged the meeting because she had been looking for me. She needed some help with something. I was a bit alarmed but I tried to be polite and we said goodbye.

Let’s just call her Melly. The next time we met she called and told me that she was locked out of her apartment and didn’t have any place to spend the night. Melly had a young daughter with her (let's call her Kerry) and she asked if she could come to our home. I don’t usually meddle with my clients’ personal lives but I didn’t have the heart to say no. She came and I made some phone calls to find a place for her and her daughter but could not find any. Then I lent her some money to stay at a hotel. She left but returned a few hours later and said she could not find any rooms near by. I didn’t really believe that but I still felt sorry for her daughter, so after a discussion with my nieces we allowed her and her daughter to spend the night in the living room. She started to tell me her stories. She told me that she was a victim of domestic violence. Her ex-husband beat her up and injured her. She told me she still had to take medication for her injuries. She told me that her father had been a rich man Indonesia. She once studied and worked in London, etc. etc. She also told me about the young man bag, who turned out to only want a permanent visa from the relationship. One day he slapped her daughter and so she kicked him out. She told me about her ex-husbands. Before long I lost track and even now I don’t really know how many ex-husbands she had. She had other children in Indonesia and Sydney. I didn’t know which parts of her story could be believed but I was not a lawyer or a police officer so I didn’t really need to know. The next day she left. Nothing was missing from our home but the bed sheet were soaking wet because her daughter vomited during the night. I was just relieved that she was not a mass murderer, or something scary like that. 

Over the next few years she continued to keep in touch. I tried to help her the best I could, but I began to suspect that she was not very rational. She kept moving from one place to another. There was always something wrong with the apartment. She said one of the real estate agents tried to sexually harass her. By this time she was not really very pretty anymore, but when did that ever stop a wicked man? I guess she was vulnerable and he tried to take advantage of her. I didn’t know how far he went but she was very angry, and as usual, very dramatic when she told me. She told me one of the priest from her church came with her to the real estate agent to reprimand the agent. Also as usual, the story was so dramatic I didn’t know which parts were true and which parts were exaggerated.

She began to wear a short satin bright green dress and shiny black boots quite often. One time a neighbour thought that she was a prostitute.

Amongst all these, she was also becoming quite ill. Every time she called she told me about the pain, the treatment, what the doctor said, etc. etc. I guess I heard about it so often I began to be desensitized towards her condition. One day she just disappeared. I called and called but she did not return my call. I was worried so I went to her apartment but she was not there. Finally she picked up her phone. She was okay. I visited her at the hospital after her surgery and a few other times.

There was always something happening in her live. Each one more dramatic than the previous ones. Her stories and requests became more and more strange. One day she called me and cried on the phone. “Mbak, aku dibohongi, aku sakit hati.” She told me that ‘her priest’, who also happened to be a bishop or a retired bishop, previously planned to marry her. Then he broke his promise and asked her to come with him and live in India instead. She said the priest had done inappropriate things to her. Now friends, what would you think if you hear a story like this? I tried my best not to be skeptical. I googled the name she gave me. Yes, there was a bishop by that name. I remembered that this was the same Father X who shouted at the naughty real estate agent, the same one who visited her at the hospital and embarrassed her for acting quite possessively, the same one who was always mentioned whenever she called. Okay, I believed her, but what did she want me to do? And what could I do? I was quite angry at Father X. He abused his position and power and had take advantage of a sick and unstable single parent. Melly told me that she and another member of the church had written a letter of complaint about the situation. All I did was listen to her and tried to calm her down. Since that day Father X was no longer in her stories.

One of her last requests was for my sister-in-law, who was coming to Sydney, to bring some medicine from Indonesia for her. My sister-in-law was not very happy about this, because in the package there were also some syringes and needles. So I told myself, okay, this is the last time.

Then she went to Indonesia! With several nuns and priests! I was left scratching my head. She told me that she wanted to visit the grave of her son, who passed away recently. She was not very well herself, so I thought it was not very wise, but I understood that as a mother she probably felt a very strong urge to visit the grave. She got very ill when she got back from Indonesia. I was not surprised.

Melly got better but her illness continued. She got thinner and darker and her hair got shorter and shorter. Her latest project was arranging an Aussy citizenship for her daughter. And for that she went to Indonesia, again! She also started to talk about death. She said, “Kayaknya aku udah mau mati, Mbak. Aku udah ampunin my ex-husband. Soalnya supaya jangan dibawa-bawa kalau aku mati nanti.” Of course I told her she was not going to die. She would be well again, she just needed to be patient and did what the doctor told her.

She called me from Indonesia to tell me that she had to extend her stay for a few days. Could I lend her some money and give it to Kerry (her daughter) who was looked after by her friend? I met up with Kerry and her six foot tall young male baby-sitter, who would not look me in the eye when I talked to him. Kerry seemed well and happy so for the hundredth time I said to myself, none of my business. And for the hundredth time I scratched my head.

Again she got very ill when she got home from Indonesia. She called me and ask if she could come, if her ‘father’ would give her a lift. She wanted to return the money. I was staying at my brother’s home while he and his wife was away so I told her I would come to visit her in a few days. But I didn’t. I think I was busy and annoyed for having to babysit at my brother’s home. About a week later I called her to ask about her upcoming surgery. I called a few times but nobody picked up the phone. I received a picture message but could not open the attachment. I called again. Nobody picked up. Perhaps she was still in the hospital after her surgery.

A few days later I went out for dinner with some friends. We chatted until quite late at night. The topic included bits and pieces of gossip from the Indo community in Sydney, until my friend suddenly said, ”Ada yang baru meninggal. Melly, anaknya si … yang orang kaya itu. Anaknya yang di Indo nelpon kesana kemari nyariin. Telponnya ga diangkat. Kami juga ga tau. Ternyata sudah meninggal. Katanya sakit.” My feet went cold a bit. I asked a few questions and confirmed that it was the same Melly that I knew.

I googled her name when I got home and sure enough, there she was in the obituary section. The obituary mentioned the cemetery where she was buried so about a week later I went to visit her grave. It was a very simple grave amongst two rows of very simple graves. The cross at the head simply stated her name and date of death. Two small flower bouquets were drying up on the ground. It was so desolate I could not help but weep a little.

I would never again hear her very loud voice on the phone, telling me the most confusing and fantastic stories and the most mundane in the same dramatic way. And what would happen to her daughter Kerry? Melly gave me Kerry’s number when she called me from Indonesia, but in the confusion of living in two places I completely forgot where I had put it. I looked for it in my stack of files, amongst the brochures, and even in the bin. Finally I found it. I was so happy but when I called, nobody picked up. I didn’t know her ex-husband’s phone number or address, where she went to church, or Kerry’s school (she moved school a lot too). I haven’t given up, but I think it is likely I would never find Kerry again. I just want to know how she is and if somebody is looking after her.
I felt a tinge of regret. I wish I had been more sympathetic when she called me for the last time. She told me that she spent hours in the plane’s bathroom, and caused quite a commotion. Luckily there was a doctor on the plane, etc. etc. Again she talked about death and that maybe it’s better to die. I told her I would come and visit her in a few days. I asked her if I went to her suburb would she be able to walk to the station. Looking back I wondered how I could ask such an insensitive question. She passed out on the plane for goodness’ sake. What was wrong with me? I have turned into one of those nurses who ignored patients who cry a little too loudly, believing that the patients are over-acting. In my job, detachment is very important, because the things that I see and the stories I hear are really heart-wrenching sometimes. Maybe I went to far. There is nothing I can do for Melly anymore. I hope she is in peace, and I hope Kerry is in a more stable environment now.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Silly

Today a fellow colleague told me that he had just accepted a deployment to Nauru. Remembering that a riot broke in Nauru a few days ago, I was surprised that he seemed happy to go. I reminded him about the riot. He said, "Work is work. Doesn't matter where."

When I arrived home suddenly something clicked in my head. My colleague is from Afghanistan, for God's sake. The riot in Nauru is probably comparable to a bar brawl to him. I am such an idiot sometimes.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Five Star Not




I travel a lot, so I’ve experienced all kinds of accomodations. Hotels, motels, homes of relatives. I did not expect much when I go on work deployments, but some accomodations are quite nice, while others are not so nice. I certainly did not expect to have as much trouble as I did in Darwin. For almost 5 weeks I stayed at a small hotel in the city. My room was okay. There was no window, only a sky-light on the ceilling, but it was clean and quiet, so I didn’t mind. Then on the third week I had a new neighbour. This neighbour slammed the door (perhaps unintentionally) everytime he (I am assuming that my neighbour is a guy) went in and out of the room. I sometimes sat on the bed with my back against the wall, and I could feel the wall tremble as the door slammed. Now door-slamming is one of my pet hates, so I was quite annoyed by this. One night I heard the door slammed very loudly. It was 11 pm, for goodness sake. I could not give that guy a piece of my mind because I was not even sure whether he was a neighbour to the left or to the right of my room. One thing was for sure, I was maaad. So the next morning, I got up early as usual. It was almost six. I got out of bed, opened the door to my room, and slammed it as hard as I could. I knew it would not solve the problem, but I hope it shook that @#$* out of his slumber. Who cares about the other guests around me. I felt much better.

When I was told I would be moved to a better hotel, I was happy. Goodbye door-slammer, I thought. Hello one-and-a-half story self-contained unit, with its own kitchen, two TVs, and huge windows. Hello also cockroaches. Thank God they were small. But they were many. On average I killed 4 a day. I felt like a butcher. I bought baits, I bought a spray. I smacked and smacked with my thong. They kept coming.

There was no remote control for the ground floor AC so I had to climb up and down a chair to switch it on and off. There was human poo near the hotel gate. I reported that but nobody did anything. Oh the flies and the stink!

On the 3rd day the kitchen light went dead. My unit became rather dark. I went to the front desk 3 times in 5 days but nobody came to fix it and nobody came to give me a remote for the AC. On the sixth day, I was washing the dishes after cooking in semi darkness, and the tap fell off. That was it!!! I sat down and wrote a letter addressed to the hotel manager, cc-ed to my employer. Basically I told them to fix the problems before I got hurt because of them. I made a couple of copies and I took one to the front desk again. I asked the staff to follow me to my room to see for himself. He looked at the kitchen light, excused himself, and came back with a new light bulb and a remote for the AC. I think I should have thrown a tantrum and made a scene at the front desk on the first day the light died. I have never done that, but seems like a useful skill to have.

Anyway, I was just happy that the two problems were fixed. My unit was bright and cheery in the evening again. I didn’t have to cook in semi darkness anymore. I bought some ingredients at the supermarket and cooked something simple. When I finished I washed the utensils and just as I was putting them back in the drawers I saw a cockroach. I got my thong in my hand, ready to strike. I followed the doomed little roach. It went into the drawer. I opened the drawer but I could not find it. I had a bad feeling. I pulled out all the drawers, and there it was – a NEST! A $%%#% roach nest! A few adults, a lot of babies, and hundreds of eggs. I sprayed the whole thing and went to the front desk, again. They told me the nest would be gone by the time I got home in the afternood. Good thing it was.

Needless to say, I was very very very very ready to go when it was time to go. That hotel was really something. As I was leaving my room, as a farewell present, my bag fell with my new aluminium water bottle inside it. The lid broke and the water spilled all over the inside of my bag. Oh, yeah, I also left my hat at the room. Great. Just great.