Absurd

One week into 2007, I was on my way home from a trip to the city. I was thinking of how absurd my life was. I had resigned from my job here, thinking I was going home to my own country. Then the doctor told me that the result from the needle biopsy was not good. After all the horror of the surgeries last year, I would be going through the whole nightmare all over again. So I resigned from my job in Jakarta, hoping that the superannuation money would help me through some of the bills. My family had been urging me to stay here permanently. But I can’t. Not without further studies at uni, which costs too much.

I’m 35. Jobless, penniless, with a costly medical condition, and truckloads of emotional baggage that had kept me from making anything out of myself. A parasite in the family. Stuck. What am I living for? Nothing. Maybe it would be better if I didn’t exist. I wanted to disappear. How could I make myself disappear?

These were my thoughts when the cell phone beeped. It was a message from a close friend in Singapore. “May, adik gue, Huat, meningggal tadi pagi.” Her brother had passed out and died that morning. He was only 30, with no known history of illness. I was shocked. My poor friend, and her grieving parents...

Life, indeed, is absurd. I don’t understand any of this.

New Year's Eve

It was New Year’s Eve. On exactly the same night last year, I was at home with a bandage across my chest from a surgery, feeling very miserable because it was difficult to sleep and I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t even go to the living room because my niece’s boyfriend was staying over and sleeping there.

This year I was alone at home. Most of my folk have flown back home for a holiday and my niece was out with her friends. I didn’t want to stay home, so I planned to go to North Sydney to see the fireworks. When I got to the station there were a group of noisy teens lining up for train tickets. It was like the whole school had gathered there. After waiting for half an hour, I couldn’t stand it anymore and walked back home. Then I called my friend to say Happy New Year. She was going to the city to see the fireworks with another friend and she asked me if I wanted to come along. I was so glad I didn’t end up spending New Year’s Eve alone at home.

The Statue Man

This is a photo of the ‘statue man’. He was taking a break after a long day’s work. When he was working, he stood very still, just like a statue. Passersby put coins in a box in front of him. Sometimes they took photos with him. The statue man would put his silver shawl around the tourists’ shoulders and made them wear wreaths of flowers for the photos. He gave lollies to children. As I sat down to watch, I saw smiles on people’s faces as the statue man entertained the tourists. Young girls giggled. Children fascinated and happy.

As the statue man was taking his break, I could see that he was very tired. It must have been sweltering in his costume and make up on that sunny day. There was no shade to protect him from the sun. Just seconds after the picture was taken, a jogger passed by and slapped the statue man across the face. It was totally an unprovoked attack. The statue man was surprised but was quick enough to call out to the jogger. The jogger stopped and turned back. I couldn’t hear what they said to each other. The statue man was obviously asking for an explanation and an apology and the jogger seemed to be too cocky to take him seriously. The argument grew hotter. The statue man stripped down to shorts and singlet and raised his fists. He was much older and appeared frail compared to the muscular jogger. The jogger also raised his fists. Punches flew but they both managed to avoid getting hit. The statue man pulled the jogger’s shirt off in the fight and threw it back at him. The jogger walked away, but then came back, shouting abuse at the statue man. I guess his ego was badly bruised.

Several ticket men from the jet boat arena nearby approached. They asked the jogger what happened. It was not clear what was going to happen next. Then punches flew again. This time they rained on the jogger. He was outnumbered and outnerved. A group of by standers, me included, cheered and clapped as he ran away. He scowled at us but we ignored him.

Kindness

The people you meet just surprised you sometimes. I was sitting in the breast-clinic’s waiting room, waiting for my turn. I was scheduled to have a fine-needle biopsy on that day. A middle aged lady was sitting next to me. We were both wearing hospital gowns. She looked at me with huge eyes. “What you here for?” she asked. I told her. She looked surprised, but then she said kindly, “Don’t you worry, dear. It’s going to be alright.”

“They took one of mine, and I’m alright. See..” she pointed out where her breast had been. She had had a mastectomy. “Don’t you worry. You’ll be fine.”

We had a chat and I found out that she migrated to Australia as a refugee 40 years ago. She was from Egypt but was actually Greek.

The nurse called her and that ended our chat. She followed the nurse, grumbling all the way. It was clear that to her, as I also knew, the treatment for cancer was not a walk in the park. She was obviously scared and worried about her own health, but she took the time to comfort me. That made her a very wonderful person to me.